RELATIONSHIPS

RELATIONSHIPS:

An individual is born in a family, at a place and at a particular

time according to his/her prarabhad ( a balance sheet of deeds of

previous lives ). A person is born in Ethiopia or America; Rajiv

Gandhi in the family of Nehru;…..etc.etc. Accordingly, we establish

our relationships depending upon where, which society or family and

time , we are born as many things depend upon the norms of the place

and the time (this is supposedly known as conditioning of the

individuals which in turn develops various traits of the individuals

including the faith and beliefs etc. ).

We have various kinds of relatives and different relationships with

them :

FAMILY RELATIVES: Natural affiliations provide an opportunity to

associate with our parents , brothers and sisters ( the immediate

relatives in First category); Uncles ( paternal and maternal ) and

their children (cousins) (the next immediate relatives in 2ND

category); they are genetically related to us, mostly born and brought

up almost in the same environment; Let us analyze their

characteristics- How different are the children from their parents or

from their own brothers and sisters in their life styles ( nature,

behavior, communication , speaking, eating, dealings etc. in several

respects ). This difference further increases among 2ND category

relatives for obvious reasons, however ASSOCIATION we develop makes a

lot of difference. ( Association here means living together and

dealing with each other very closely ; the strength of RELATIONSHIP

is directly proportional to the amount of association with each other);

FRIENDS: Self created affiliations, create/ open opportunities for

better and longer association; perhaps, more responsible , dependable

and concerned- but there are only a few in this category.( though

loosely, we call many as our friends ).

COLLEAGUES: automatically affiliated relationship at work place and

other places of activities; again professional relationship provides

an opportunity for closer association as you spend maximum time in

life with them ( at least 8 hrs per day ) interacting, having lunch,

coffee etc. together; ( perhaps, we spend more time with professional

colleagues at work place than one spends even with his/her spouse or

and any other family member ) CLASSMATES and HOSTEL MATES during

schooling period also provide similar opportunities.

.

SPOUSAL RELATIONSHIP ( Conjugal Relationship); the most unique,

strange, permanent and ever lasting relationship. Two strangers meet

at certain point in life and then by the ritual of wedding, they

become wife and husband and consequently by virtue of marriage , all

the others in two families of in-laws become relatives automatically

( most of them unknown before ; Samdhi and sadhoo are typically strange relationships ). Though all the relations are made in

heaven but Marriage is especially mentioned as made in heaven. This

relationship and association develops and progresses in several

stages in life:

Passion Stage ; Stage of intimacy; Immediately after the marriage ,

people feel that they are made for each other like Ram and Sita, Shiv

and Parvati etc. Nature/GOD has designed certain forces which

influence the people to develop close intimacy, care, affection ,

love and interest of all kind for each other. The time period of

immediate intimacy and relationship varies according to the

conditioning of individuals (Conditioning: family,social,

educational, professional and religious background etc.);

Realization Stage: Immediately after the passion stage, may be after

a year or two or even less, one fine morning , one of them or both of

them realize, no , we are different people. Some thing is wrong some

where; some other forces start building up, create misunderstandings,

confusions and conflicts etc. Clashes of interest, differences of

opinions about running the life in the REAL World start popping up. An

individual is an individual in all respect.

Rebellion Stage: Differences and conflicts created / developed , now

generate further aggravations leading to SEPARATION or COMPROMISES;

traditionally people tend to compromise, continue living with each

other ever after knowingly fully well their conflicts and

differences.But, in present days, where the tolerance has been

reducing , people opt for separation and think of alternatives.(

superficial values, comparisons, superiority/inferiority complexes

play dubious role in separation ); Marriage as a contract is broken.

Stage of Compromise: After a short lived stage of realization and

rebellion, Marriage is accepted as a compromise. In fact, Marriage is

generally a compromise. Some people accept it as a matter of fate,

some as a matter of fact, but they accept to live together. Children

start coming, equations change, family starts developing and growing.

Joint responsibilities change the spousal relationship to parental
relationship of children.
It moves on, Life goes on.New Relationships

start developing……

SAND WITCH STAGE: Around the age of 40 years or so, persons are in a sand witch stage

struggling with the responsibilities for children and aging

parents. Parents and children , both are important and need special

care and attention . Children need for their growth and development

while parents need for their diminishing system. Physically body

gets weaker in its over all functions ( digestive, circulatory,

respiratory etc. ) causing usual problems of Diabetes, hypertension,

etc.etc.; Mentally they loose memory and understanding which further

aggravate the situation, causing anger, anxiety and worry etc.etc.

complex and compounded problems of aging parents; Very crucial time

for most of the people managing their own family and maintaining the

balance with the parents. With new socio-economic environment, the old

traditional joint or collective family system is being broken down

and individualized or unit system is being developed.. New approaches

are developing for the support and assistance for seniors or old

peoples.

———————————————————————-

with changing situation globally over time ( Space and Time )  our activities, our

whole perception and cognition and hence the behavioral and emotional

patterns have been changing. So, it hardly matters as who is who? Globalization has completely changed this scenario, though distances
have reduced geographically but increased socially and
psychologically
( so near but so far away from each other); NEW socio-

economic equation combined with and influenced by new technological

developments , creates another dimension in developing and sustaining

our relationships

———————————————————————-

For meaningful, everlasting and strong relationship , mutual respect, trust,
attachment, commitment, care, love and affection are very essential
things , of course without any EXPECTATIONS from any one.
———————————————————————-

Among all the relations, the most respected relations are the MOTHER who gives the LIFE –the creator and developer of individuals; the TEACHER(S) who make /shape the LIFE and the DOCTOR(S) who save the

LIFE , and the MENTORS ( could be any person(s)- parents, teachers, friends ,

colleagues or any body in the society ) who give the directions and

meaning for the development and growth of the life.

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